justlisa

Leaving Blogger today if it kills us both.. and it...

2002-06-17T18:02:00.000-05:00

Leaving Blogger today if it kills us both.. and it just might.

I found this while going through ancient email ton...

2002-06-06T23:03:00.000-05:00

I found this while going through ancient email tonight. I laughed when I remembered the response I got from the men I sent it to way back then. Everyone needs a good laugh, right?

The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love to you.

The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.

He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
Oh, forget this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay

You know, I love Todd to the moon and back, to the...

2002-06-05T22:11:00.000-05:00

You know, I love Todd to the moon and back, to the deepest depths of the oceans, to the top of the highest mountain... I'd give my life in exchange for his. I really would. but if he shuts off our network server one more time.... grrrrrrrrrrr.

Every time that I need to print something right away or I need to access something on one of the other computers pronto, it's shut off. Every.single.damn.time.

Honey, please, in the name of all that's sacred, stop it. Your home life is going to get very rocky if you don't. I'll stop washing your underwear. I'm serious.

suppose he'll believe that???

We interrupt your weekend to bring you the followi...

2002-06-01T11:57:00.000-05:00

We interrupt your weekend to bring you the following public service announcement:

Pansies suck.

Oh sure, they look pretty in the greenhouse. Pretty enough for a certain 8 year old to want some.

"No. It's too hot. They'll die. We're getting petunias. Dark, velvety, purple petunias. Mamma holds the checkbook and I'm not buying flowers that I know will die."

Oh hell, grandma's got her checkbook too and she never says no. And now I've got pansies dying in pots.

Wow... I've been away from here a lot longer than ...

2002-05-29T17:58:00.000-05:00

Wow... I've been away from here a lot longer than I thought. I spent last week in the fetal position reminding myself to breathe. This week I saw a gastroenterologist who tells me I need to see an ob/gyn. Apparently I am destined to feel like I am dying once a month while the doctors hand me off like a football. My concern is that I will eventually drop so much weight that I really will get picked up by the wind and blown to god knows where. Oh well, I'll keep seeing one specialist after another until either my health insurance says no more, someone finds the answer to the problem, or I die. Patti is to lead the dance across my grave if the later should happen. We've decided on The Hustle. It will be a good time I'm sure.

In other news, my site stats have picked up significantly the past day or two. Either people are concerned for my well being and are checking for updates or they are looking for my take on the fracture in my particular web community. Since I already covered my health, let's move on to the community thing.

I describe it as a fracture because that's what it is. It happens all the time. Too many people step out onto the ice at once (the community gets too big) and it cracks. You either drown or you hop the crack and end up standing on the side you felt most compelled to jump to. If you're lucky, you're standing amongst friends. Most often you'll find you've jumped to the wrong side.

It is my humble opinion that it's best to just scamper clear the hell off the ice when you hear the first *pop*. Grab as many friends as you can and run to safety. When it's all said and done and everyone is patched up, the community heals and the cycle starts again.

Sounds simple, huh? Well it's not. I do a great job of staying out of the middle of this kind of stuff. It's one of my better qualities - the ability to stay friends with practically everyone involved in a brawl. I do so strictly by keeping my opinion to myself. If the situation doesn't concern me, I simply do not get involved, express an opinion, take a side... nothing. nada. leave me out. This plays directly against the part of my personality that wants to defend my true friends til death. Screw with them and run the risk of me planting my foot squarely in your backside.

I have a mechanism in place for this too. If my friends are handling it well all by themselves, I can stay removed. They know I love them, support them, and am here if they need me. So far those closest to me are doing a bang up job of holding their own. It doesn't directly concern me so I'm out. When it's over, I'll apply the bandaids and do whatever I can to bring everyone back together.

Those of you who aren't involved yet still feel the need to run your mouth... please don't. You are adding nothing to the process and nothing is exactly what you'll end up with when it's done. Just come over here with me and watch in awe and amazement as the healing begins. It's an amazing process of tearing down the bad, tossing out the rubbish and building something stronger out of what's left over.

Just finished testing the new swing. Due to a dog...

2002-05-13T19:22:00.000-05:00

Just finished testing the new swing. Due to a dog with the heaves and a boy who insisted on using the swing as a large tree stand for his Jurassic Park toys, the experiment was a failure.

We went to Des Moines today to celebrate Mother's ...

2002-05-12T23:06:00.000-05:00

We went to Des Moines today to celebrate Mother's Day with Todd's family. His neice, Mitzi, has the cutest chihuahua. Mitzi won't let me put pictures of her on the internet but I guess it's okay to display her dog. Isn't he adorable???

I've been trying to think of a way to relax in the evenings and remembered how much I used to love my grandma's swing. After we finished visiting family today we ran over to Loews and I bought a lawn swing with a canopy. Hopefully that will help me unwind after work. If it's not raining tomorrow morning Todd can put it together for me and I'll test it in the evening if they don't schedule a baseball practice or something.

Speaking of rain, we had so much yesterday I thought I was going to have to get the boat off the trailer and cruise around the backyard. I haven't heard any solid numbers yet but our back yard was completely flooded at one point. Yesterday afternoon my cousin came down to pick up the van I sold him. The stupid hunk of crap wouldn't start so we all stood around in the rain for quite a few hours trying to force it. Christopher was the only one having a good time. There were literally six or seven inches of water standing in the grass and of course he couldn't stay out of it if his life depended on it. By the time it was said and done the van won the war and C. was soaked clear up to his armpits. Hopefully he won't be sick tomorrow.

I really need a three day weekend... or even just ...

2002-05-05T22:04:00.000-05:00

I really need a three day weekend... or even just four or five more hours in this day. Right now I can't write much because it's time to eat. I threw together a quick page of what I spent my weekend doing. Hopefully I'll get a chance to write more about it before next weekend. For now, check out the new bathroom.

Dammit. I came this close to making it two years....

2002-04-29T18:35:00.000-05:00

Dammit. I came this close to making it two years. This close...

On June 1,2000, my ex slammed the tailgate on his pickup and drove off with his belongings. It wasn't a fun time but it wasn't a bad thing either. Anyway, he drove off entrusting me with the upbringing of our son and I think I've done a pretty decent job. Scott gets him every other weekend for the father-son fun thing and I'm charged with the discipline. That's fine by me too - at least his dad participates in his life. Lots of dads don't. I pride myself in being able to handle anything that comes up. C. and I are both short fused and hot headed so it's a miracle we're able to work things out without a full blown crisis intervention team on 24/7 standby.

Tonight's like any other night... too much to do and not enough hours to get it all done. I'm outside with the weedeater and he's on his bike. I inquire about the homework. He tells me it's done. I'm skeptical because well, he's 8 and skeptism is a must when dealing with any child, let alone an 8 year old. He finally admits he's still got a math paper... no, two math papers... no, four math papers. Fine. Math. Go do it.

I came inside later to check and he's got the playstation fired up. He's decided to wait and do homework after ball practice. Oh, I think not. Much shouting and door slamming ensue. I win. He'll do the math. But wait... there's spelling too. Oh shucks, he forgot his spelling words at school. 's okay son, you can do your math at school but you still aren't playing the playstation. Oh boy... more shouting. I retreat to my office for the ten count. (all parents know the ten count. it's saved many a child.)

He comes in the office and dumps his backpack to show me he has no pencil and therefore cannot do his math until tomorrow either. This is where I tell you that my child doesn't always engage his brain. He's not stupid. He just doesn't plan real well. See, when you dump your backpack to make a point you should make sure that the spelling list (you know, the one that was left at school) does not fall out of said backpack. He did not do this so when the spelling list hit the floor, he knew he was in deep. Rather than just acknowledge that his whole plan had failed due to poor planning and follow through, he blew up. At me. That ten count I referenced earlier... I was only on number six when this occurred. That's when it happened. That's when I said it.

"I'm calling your dad!!!!

... dammit...

This afternoon was the elementary school's product...

2002-04-27T16:05:00.000-05:00

This afternoon was the elementary school's production of Oliver Twist. Two months of music practice several times a week finally done. YAY!!! Christopher was sick and couldn't go so his practice was for nothing. My mom stayed here with him so Todd and I could go see Emily. She is so cute even when she looks like a dirty little orphan.

We didn't do that sort of thing when I was in elementary school. I don't even remember having music at all although I'm sure we did. It was truly amazing considering the actors were ages 5-11. I have one of the songs stuck firmly in my head now.

Welcome, welcome to the family,
welcome, welcome we're as happy as can be,
although we're not related, on this you will agree,
no matter where you go, you will always know that we are family

Back to the doctor again today. Left some more bl...

2002-04-22T21:07:00.000-05:00

Back to the doctor again today. Left some more blood to be analyzed. I am getting used to having my blood drawn. It used to make me fighting mad but now it's old hat. The nurse laughed because I came into the lab smiling. She said to the tech, "Gee, I think she likes you - at least she's smiling." I said "Like him?? Nooooo... I love him. I make up stuff just so I can come out here and get poked full of holes." I was actually laughing at something Todd had said while we were walking to the lab but it never hurts to suck up to the guy with the needles.

I didn't get a whole lot accomplished with the doctor today either. She is trying though. She switched my stomach med from nexium to prevacid, told me to see the chiropractor about my headaches, try to eat, relax, and see her again in a week when the results of today's blood draw are back.

Relaxing around this place is not an option. Work during the day and deal with C. at night. Musical practice, baseball practice, homework and of course all he wants to do is ride his bike. He's crashed out hard on the couch with..... a headache. Claims I gave him mine. No sir... I still have mine, thank you.

I have been incredibly sick again and am even more...

2002-04-20T16:27:00.000-05:00

I have been incredibly sick again and am even more sick of being sick - if that makes any sense. Found out yesterday that insurance isn't going to pay for the doctor who couldn't help me so I get to pay him for nothing. Ain't life grand??

Anyway, I couldn't go the day without wishing Ms CrankyPants a very happy birthday. If I had the money, I'd buy her one of these.

Someone gave me a gift card for Home Depot for my ...

2002-04-15T22:41:00.000-05:00

Someone gave me a gift card for Home Depot for my b-day. Although I love her I must kill her. First she makes me do an amazon.com wishlist which was hard to do - then she turns around and veers clear off the amazon path and does this Home Depot thing. Me and $25 at Home Depot can do a lot of damage. New tile for my small bathroom floor? New wallpaper border for my kitchen? Flower boxes to go under the windows on the shed? New bathroom faucet? Blind for the dining room window? The list goes on and on.... Thank God they have a website so I can decide from my comfy chair. My legs would fall off if I had to walk the store to decide.

Speaking of walking, last week I started walking every night. With the exception of Saturday, I have walked every night for a week. Sound like no big deal but it is. I have spent months just sitting at the computer with no exercise to speak of. Everyone told me to start off easy and only go every other night. That kind of regime doesn't work for me. It's all or nothing. If I don't push myself beyond my limits, I won't push at all. Tonight is the shortest walk so far and it registered 7/10 of a mile on my pedometer that Christopher got me. My normal walk is closer to a mile and a half. Christopher loves it. He takes his bike - I take the dog. Dog chases bike. I get an upper body workout from pulling him back as well as the very brisk walk. If you've considered beginning an exercise program I'd highly recommend walking. I really do feel better since I started and it's a great change of scenery.

Yes, Chicken Lady, it's my birthday. So why am I ...

2002-04-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, Chicken Lady, it's my birthday. So why am I even out of bed?? Oh yeah... soccer starts this morning....

Sometimes it's so good to be a parent. Not a bett...

2002-04-08T20:54:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's so good to be a parent. Not a better feeling in the world than outsmarting a kid who thinks they've pulled one over.

Christopher left his homework at his dad's this weekend so his dad's girlfriend called here to make arrangements to get that in the proper hands. I'm thinking C. knew last night that she'd be calling. He spent an awful lot of time when he returned home trying to subtly convince me that she and I don't get along. I assured him that she and I got along famously and he was rather insistent that no, we didn't. Now I know why. If he'd have succeeded in getting me to believe that she had a problem with me, I'd have been less likely to engage in a long conversation with her when she called. Makes sense.

Since he didn't get me convinced you can imagine his disdain when she called and I was able to talk to her. Not only was I able to talk to her, I cleared an hour and an half to talk to her. Learned a lot of things, cleared the air, compared notes, and formulated some new plans for keeping consistency between the two homes. Where C. is concerned his upbringing is not a disjointed effort between four people. It's a team effort between four people who love him and want what's best for him. Right now he's pretty sure the two moms are ganging up on him. au contraire... it's two mothers who love their children and will get along with each other to spite them all.

The rules between the two places are somewhat different but the behavior expectations are the same. He will be honest, respectful, and decent. Four sets of eyes and ears are upon him at all times. Poor kid can't escape. Can't pit us against each other. He's gonna have to grow into a fine young man like it or not.

Opinion time. I bought justlisa.com in 1999 on my...

2002-04-07T19:02:00.000-05:00

Opinion time. I bought justlisa.com in 1999 on my birthday so it's time to renew the name and the hosting. This site is really boring the way it is now. I have tons of photographs but no time to upload and make any sense of them. It also seems that when I have time to really post something with meaning, blogger is down or screwing up. Now is the opportune time for me to upgrade my hosting so that I can move to greymatter or moveable type for the words. If I upgrade the hosting I can also try out some of the php/mysql solutions for displaying my photos.

I go back and forth in my mind. With money being a huge issue right now it would be more financially sound to just drop the domain and the hosting and kiss justlisa goodbye. At the same time I'd really love to display more photography. It would give me more reason to practice my hobby and would get me away from this damn computer. I am absolutely terrible at making decisions like this. My brain screams at me to be responsible while my heart encourages me to do something fun.

Now I know my friends who visit here will encourage me to listen to my heart but seriously, is there really a need for yet another photolog? I've also been tossing around the idea of building a community like pixelpile with the difference being that anyone could share photographs. There's probably something like that already on the net and I just don't know about it yet.

Grrrrrrrrrr.... I just don't know. Any comments/suggestions would be most appreciated.

Sneaking a Thursday Threesome in here... Onesom...

2002-04-04T09:28:00.000-06:00

Sneaking a Thursday Threesome in here...

Onesome. Love. Ever felt that "unconditional love"? Tell us about it.... Sure. With Christopher of course and almost everyone in my family, particularly my Aunt Rose who posts in my comments from time to time. She's one of those people who oozes love out every fiber of her being.

Twosome. Labors. What was your first paying job (not counting baby-sitting)? My first job was when I was 14 and on the summer youth program. Washing dishes at the community mealsite. I hated it and decided then that I was going to work my tail off and learn as much as I could about everything else so I wouldn't get stuck in a job I hated.

Threesome. Lost. Have a knack for losing things? Is there something you lose "all the time"? My checkbook. But it's not my fault. I have a spot where I leave it and Todd has three or four places he likes to keep it. Anytime he's had it last I can't find it. Work CDs. Still looking for my NT Resource kit. Has anyone seen it?

My oldest brother has had some weird medical thing...

2002-04-03T20:50:00.000-06:00

My oldest brother has had some weird medical things the past few years that recently deteriorated enough for him to go the doctor. His primary doctor suspected Lou Gehrigs and sent him to a neurologist. Thankfully it wasn't that. He had fallen from his semi truck and apparently crushed some bones that eventually began to cut off the nerves to his arms and legs. Yesterday they went in and replaced the crushed bone with some from the bone bank. That freaks me out. I don't know why but eeewwwwww.

Anyway, it was supposed to be a simple procedure, day or two in the hospital and back to work by week's end. Of course our family doesn't play that simple procedure game. We go straight for complicated. He's still in intensive care due to some troubles intubating him. Guess they left the tubes in and are keeping him sedated until the swelling in his throat goes down. Lemme tell ya... they are gonna have one pissed off man when he finally does get to wake up. He's a cranky one, like our dad was. Not much use for doctors and certainly not one to hang around the hospital. Glad his wife is there to put up with it and not me. I dealt with dad through his hospitalization and don't care to hang out with any cranky Kelly men again for a long, long time.

I am so bored. I should be washing Christopher's germ infested bedding and working on a way to transfer a huge file from one server to another. Neither of those things sound very appealing. I could call my friend Lori but she goes to bed way early so that she can get up and run like a gerbil on her treadmill. By the way Lori, I'm really sorry about your grandpa. Remind me to tell you about how Sandy handled boat licenses while you were gone. I wonder if she even told you I'd been there to see you.....

Let's see... what else.... oh, the BWG informed me this morning that women hit their prime at 35. I forgot to ask if this was a sudden thing or if it developed over the 35th year. Either way I'm entering my prime a week from Saturday so look out! Lord knows what I'll do. Spontaneously combust? Sprout another gray hair? Todd's birthday is a week from today and I can tell you what he'll do. Nothing besides pretend like he's mad at me for buying him something. I think I'll get him this.

One more thing... if you think I'm a good mother, you're wrong. I'm awful. It doesn't matter that I've waited on him hand and foot for two days or that I've held him while he was violently ill. The only thing that matters is the giant army cot that I won't set up. Maybe I should box him up and send him and his cot to kd. She lets her kid camp in the living room. So much cooler than me.

To whomever last signed my guestbook: I got the m...

2002-04-01T21:58:00.000-06:00

To whomever last signed my guestbook: I got the message but you're mistaken. There's never been a man I've always wanted and if there was one I wanted even for a fleeting moment, I always succeeded. Men are too easy to conquer. There's not one alive that can say no to any woman who wants them bad enough. It's a fatal flaw in the species and a flaw that women learn to manipulate very early on in life. Even if the guys never get what they want, a woman worth her weight in salt can keep them eating out of her hand for an indefinite period of time.

While we're on the subject of men and their flaws, why is it the toughest guy, regardless of age, becomes the biggest baby when they are sick?? Christopher prides himself on being the toughest 8 year old on the planet. He's got the pukes again and the toughness just went out the window. My status has changed from mom or mother to mommmmmyyyyyy. One can only hope that his first words tomorrow are "Mom!!! Where's my clothes??!!" and not "Mommy, I need the bucket."

This weekend was pretty dang good. In addition to...

2002-03-31T19:49:00.000-06:00

This weekend was pretty dang good. In addition to the normal household chores I spent some quality time with Todd. It wasn't near enough but sure better than nothing which is what we've had for so long. The bad part is we had to sacrifice holiday time with family to get it so I'm sure I'll feel guilty as hell.

A year ago we bought this house and everything was perfect. Not long after things went to hell in a handbasket. It's been an uphill struggle since. I get so incredibly frustrated watching our ex-spouses galavant around with money to spare while we work like dogs. After a few hours of peace this weekend I realize it's okay. It really is. We have what money can't buy - love and respect for each other. Underneath all the craziness, it's still there so we'll be just fine.

Someone be sure to remind me of this the next time Todd has to fish in the change bucket for gas money, 'k?

Sorry for the lack of posting. Didn't mean to wor...

2002-03-29T13:24:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. Didn't mean to worry anybody. I've been really busy and when I'm not busy I'm just too pissy to be spewing stuff here. My mama always said "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

I have the day off today and it's beautiful outside. Just taking a break after cleaning my car all out and waxing it. I'm not sure what I'll do this afternoon. My boss said I could have this day on the condition that I do something for myself. I've honestly forgotten how to do that. I have no idea what to do. I'm fighting the instinct to clean the house and tear into laundry. Maybe I'll grab the camera and hunt for photo ops. It's hard to get excited about that when everything is still all brown and dead.

The neighbor stopped in the road today and hollered, "You haven't mowed your grass yet!" and laughed. Hard to believe it's about time to start mowing. I was hoping I'd get to scoop lots of snow first. Oh well... there's always next year.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in my comments or sen...

2002-03-20T18:45:00.000-06:00

Thanks to everyone who wrote in my comments or sent well wishes. I was able to go to Des Moines today but it was all for nothing. Well, not nothing because I saw lots of orangey goodness for Faith. The doctor was for nothing though.

Right off the bat he asked how tall I was and declared I was anorexic. Just like that. "You're anorexic." I closed the valve between my brain and mouth and took time to compose a coherent sentence. "No. My dad was 5'9" and weighed 130 soaking wet. My brother's the same. My sister is smaller than me." He said "Oh good. Good. A genetic thing." Yes. A genetic thing and let's not forget that.

Then he told me that he didn't know why I was there. My symptoms didn't match anything in his speciality. I should be at a neurologist but for today he'd play neurologist. We then went through a million questions, most of which he didn't even wait for the reply to before he jumped to the next one. In the end he came up with an ordered list for me to complete in the next eight weeks.

A thyroid function test;
A six hour glucose test only this time with blood drawn from the arm, not a finger poke;
A CT scan of my head;
A neck xray;
A neurology consult; and finally
A gastroenterology consult.

After these are done, I have to return to see him. Basically I'm looking at thousands of dollars of tests and crap that may show nothing still. I am now beyond aggravated. All I know for sure is if I were a cow, they'd send me to slaughter.

Send good vibes!! I managed to catch C's stom...

2002-03-19T19:25:00.000-06:00

Send good vibes!!

I managed to catch C's stomach virus despite washing my hands until they cracked. No biggie I suppose except tomorrow is my endocrinologist appointment I've been waiting a month for. If I'm too sick to make the journey I'll have to wait another 4 to 6 weeks to get another appointment. That cannot happen. That would drive me over the edge. I've been sick too damn long already. To let a stupid virus keep me from finding out the true nature of my ailments would just be wrong. Good thoughts, positive energy, prayers, or secret family recipes to stop nausea and vomiting would be most appreciated.

Interesting night around here last night. My mom ...

2002-03-16T11:42:00.000-06:00

Interesting night around here last night. My mom brought C. home shortly after 5 and said he'd just gotten very sick in the video store. He was so embarrassed. They got him a bucket in time but he was still feeling very ashamed. Finally got him convinced that the ladies who helped him were both grandmothers so they'd seen plenty of sick kids in their lifetimes. We made flying trips to the bathroom every two or three minutes until after 1AM. He is so much like me when he's sick. The whole come here - go away thing.

The poor dog couldn't figure out what was wrong with his boy. Everytime he'd put his head on the couch beside him, Christopher would yell "Dozer! Go away!" Finally had to put Dozer outside. When the dog is upset, he retaliates. Last nights retaliation was to shred the bags of leaves in the driveway. Lovely. Anyway, we're all fine today. A little tired and grouchy but fine. Todd had to work and then had an early morning meeting so he missed all the fun. Lucky guy. I think I'll make him rebag the leaves.

Five more days til I see the endocrinologist! I a...

2002-03-14T22:25:00.000-06:00

Five more days til I see the endocrinologist! I am so anxious to start feeling better again. I'm a little apprehensive that they'll find something major wrong but overall I just want to get to the bottom of it. I don't know if it's possible but I actually feel worse since I started getting better rest, drinking lots of water, and eating better. I took a B complex vitamin in the morning and a multivitamin in the afternoon every day for a couple of weeks and felt really lousy then. I stopped taking them and that new ickiness went away. Maybe my body is so used to being abused that it won't accept me trying to take care of it.

I had a really good stream of thought going but the cat bailed into my lap and I lost it. I swear my posts would be downright captivating if not for the distractions around this place. Get the kid to bed and the dog needs something. Get the dog settled down and here comes the cat. Get rid of the cat and the phone rings. Phone ringing wakes up the kid. Kid winds up the dog. Dog chases the cat into my lap and here we go again.

You watch... as soon as the kid has grown and the dog and cat have long passed, I'll be a force to be reckoned with.