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Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about
them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright 1972 by Dorothy Law
Nolte

I had that hanging on the wall of my first apartment before I even had kids. I got it mostly to remind myself that parenting was a tougher job than I ever wanted. I knew to be a role model such as the one Dorothy Nolte laid out in her writing was the only way to parent. I also knew I didn't have it in me.

When I found out I was pregnant with C., I was sure I'd blow it. How could someone as self centered as I was ever set a good example? If I had to grade myself on my parenting skills as laid out above, I'd give myself a B-. I need to work on tolerance and hostility. I try to shield everyone around me from the hostility I feel inside but there are times when it's written all over my face. That is goal #1 for the next few months. Sort through the anger and let it go. Daunting task.

Comments (5)

CNL:

Well, I've got nothing major planned for the next few months. Holler if you need a hand. ;-)

pawz:

have you read "the dance of anger"? i'm (sporadically) reading it now. it's brilliant.

oh lisa! its going to be an intense few months for you.. if you need anything that i can help with, let me know, okay?

Pat:

Great words to live by. We're trying too...

Mitzi:

Just to let you know, I know who this is to and believe it or not, eventually that person will see that "she" (oops, sorry :)) is not the perfect person that she thinks she is. It is a mothers natural instinct to protect her children from whoever is hurting them,even if the other parent choses to look the other way. I know, I am one of those mothers and have bit the head off of many and will do it again. I don't care who walks into my ex's life and becomes his companion, but DON'T AND I REPEAT...DON'T MESS WITH MY KIDS. YOU WON'T WIN. I PROMISE YOU THAT.