JustLisa

From my Daily Inspiration email

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

---Frank Outlaw

It's a wonder I haven't broken something when I do my tae bo workouts. My cross trainer shoes are at least 8 years old so the bottoms are shot. Not really that worn out but the rubber has hardened and they are slicker than snot. If you've ever done tae bo, you know it's a good idea to have traction - particularly on carpet.

Anyway, we don't have any place near here to buy shoes so I've been looking around the web. So dang expensive! Today we took a little road trip to Winterset so I could take photos for a website. They have a huge Pamida and we had 20 minutes in the schedule before we needed to head back home. Dashed in there and found some shoes. Feels like I have new feet. I just did tae bo and made it further than I ever have. I had to learn a new way of balancing but I wasn't working extra hard not to fall down for a change. Another bonus, they are as heavy as concrete blocks. Excellent for the legs.

This morning I decided to try out a workout tape I'd borrowed from a friend; specifically the cross training section. There was a section where I was supposed to step out to the side, feet back together, out to the side, back together, then a quick ball change. I could do it at demonstration speed but when they kicked it up to real speed, I was lost. Then they threw in some arm movements and I seriously almost fell on my face. When did I become a klutz? Tonight I did Tae Bo for abs. Each time I can go a little farther. Yay me!

Tonight's aggravation: Todd actually suggested we stay up late and watch Letterman. I was so excited because I love to stay up without kids. Great idea but about 30 minutes ago, we lost CBS. First the audio then the video. GRRRRR

There is a heart doctor on the CBS Early Show. He just informed me that my chronic worry and anxiety (and most assuredly my anger) is bad for my heart.

And this disturbing video from Todd. From past experiences working on the fire dept/rescue unit, I've seen the aftermath of partial ejection. Ick. It's interesting to see the mechanisms in real time.

Have a great day and for crying out loud, buckle that seatbelt.

I have a bug. It has taken up residence in my throat and upper chest. My ears are plugged so I say "Huh?" alot. It's annoying. Someone call the exterminator.

Here I am again, almost three in the morning and I'm wide awake. Somehow in the last three weeks my life has gotten all out of balance again. You know how little kids will run so fast that their body outruns their feet? And those last five or six steps are wild and out of control as they struggle to slow down and regain balance? And then they fall end over end regardless? It's like that.

I woke up and thought of something I needed to do for work that required an email to the Australian time zone. I think they are still in their business day right now. Now that I've taken care of that, perhaps I can go back to sleep for a bit.

I've been seeing lots of media reference to the "lazy days of summer" and I wonder, do adults get that? I can't even get lazy nights. I crawl into bed just exhausted and as soon as my head hits the pillow, my brain finally engages and it will not stop. I've tried relaxation breathing, reading a book, taking a sleep aid, etc. It's getting hard to function which is frustrating and in turn feeds the problem.

I found a website about early menopause; more specifically, the insomnia that can accompany it. I have tried all of the tips listed there except the put on socks suggestion. I dont like socks when I'm awake let alone when I'm sleeping.

Via my friend George, what's your Clean Sweep score? Mine was 27. ACK!!!!

When I was 20, I could sleep 12 hours straight. This 4AM crap is just ridiculous.

The night before I redid my bed to make it more comfortable and turned on the AC to make the room cooler. Last night I ate early, didn't look at work after 7pm AND took a melatonin tablet at 9pm. It's 3:30AM. Something is still not working right.

This weekend was so incredibly busy and yesterday was just nuts as far as doing exhausting things. Had one of C's friends most of the day. We went bowling for the afternoon. I haven't bowled in probably ten years but was able to get three games in before my arm started to protest. Moved flowers for my mom in the evening. Doesn't sound major but we're talking two pickup loads of outdoor plants. Made a flowerbed for her at the new place and put down 9 bags of mulch. Got home and hauled out our garbage, did some laundry, and all the other things that got missed over the weekend. Took Melatonin and fell into bed about 10:30. Woke up at 2:30 and here I am still. My brain will not shut off!

I actually got out of bed with something very specific in mind to do work wise. Can't remember it now. I keep saying I am going to put a notebook by the bed so when I wake up, I can scribble down all the things that flood my brain.

The sleeplessness is not. While on vacation I experimented with differing bedtimes, adjusted eating patterns, exercise levels, and so on. Seems I am destined to just never sleep again. It aggravates me that when I was addicted to nicotine and caffeine, I could sleep ten hours straight. Now I'm "healthy" and can only sleep four??

I think I am going to start a separate journal to track my sleeping patterns. I'm sure everyone is sick of my 4AM posts about how I cannot keep my eyes closed.

I think a cold is trying to catch me.

I usually take a lot of vitamin C in the colder months but after reading this study about too much vitamin C and arthritis, I've stopped taking megadoses. Now I sneeze. Last night I woke up several times in the night with a sore throat.

I've also been out there. You know, out of my office and out in the public. Out there where the germs are. Yesterday I even went out with someone! My friend Lori and I ventured to the high school (any school is germ central) and cruised through the craft show. Todd says about craft shows, "Knick knack, piece of crap, give some junk a home." He's not far off. I did see a bracelet that I wanted but my want was not $35 worth of want. Also saw a framed version of my favorite Bible verse. Again, not worth the $31 price. I'm getting cheap in my old age.

Heather writes about a suicide and her depression. She mentions that insurance companies haggle over mental health payments and that reminds me I never did post my own hell with insurance.

and BAM!! Sinus infection. Actually, I had an allergic reaction to antibiotics that created a lot of fluid in my lungs. Somehow in the process of clearing that out, my sinuses went to hell. I've never inhaled gasoline but I bet it feels like this.

Yesterday morning we heard a fighter jet flying very low. Found out later it was our neighbor getting a fly over his house in honor of his retirement from the Air Nat'l Guard. That would be a cool parting gift. Much better than a gold watch.

Emily's Christmas program was tonight and I swear, I should have charged a buck every time someone asked what was wrong with my nose. I'd have a lot extra money for shopping.

I almost never have a stuffy nose since I had a broken nose fixed over ten years ago. If you've gone three or four years without a stuffy nose then you know how hard it is when you can't breathe once again. When it happens I go nutty with the blowing and end up with a sore nose. One that looks like I took a header down a concrete slide.

So, for those of you playing at home, I did not fall down. I did not get hit in the face. The dog did not bite me. I simply blew my nose waaaay too much on cheap toilet paper. Disappointingly boring, eh?

Not and still be upright. I am seriously considering a visit to the sleep clinic after the first of the year. This is getting ridiculous.

Yesterday I got a birthday card from Todd's sister in the mail and another from Marlboro. In addition to the birthday greeting there was a coupon for $5 off a carton of Marlboros. No need to fear. Christopher and his friend ripped the card and the coupon from my hands and made a very dramatic point of ripping it all into tiny pieces and throwing it in the trash. They are drama queens I tell ya. Anyway, no smokes for me but damn that's frustrating to have a bad week, a very strong desire to smoke and some marketing bastards trying to lure you right back in. Thank God for kids who know better than we do sometimes.

Can I go back to bed?

I am sunburned. Like any second I will erupt into flames kinda sunburn. If I do spontaneously combust, spread my ashes at the lake where it all began.

Since I quit smoking two years ago, I've gained quite a bit of weight and therefore try to watch what I eat. As a smoker, I could eat anything and still be ten pounds underweight. Not so anymore.

As I have experimented with my diet over the months, I make a mental checklist of what works and what doesn't. Something in my diet was making my stomach bloat up like a 7th month pregnancy and I could not figure out what it was. One day I did a google search - not sure what magic word combo I used but it had to do with bloat. I was half convinced I had cervical cancer until I found a couple of sites about sorbitol and sucralose. Both of these are sugar compounds that have had their molecular structure altered somehow so that they supposedly are sugarfree. They are found in diet sodas so I quit drinking Pepsi Edge and the daily bloat went away. I still had it occasionally and traced that to various sugarfree gums.

This week I had a bout and searched my desk for the culprit. Altoids chewing gum. Crossed that off the list of acceptable things to shove in the mouth. This evening my gut bloated up huge again so I turned the house upside down looking for what it might it be. There was a partial pack of Eclipse Polar Ice gum on Todd's reloading bench and I'd chewed two pieces of it. Got on the Wrigley's website and sure enough, add that to the list too. I guess I can either keep gaining weight or I can bloat up with air. Bloating up with air is quite painful so bring on the sugar!!

It's been over two years since I smoked so why do I still want one really bad? Today the cravings are bad enough that I know I need to totally avoid my friends who smoke.

I hate being grouchy. If you encounter me today, wave and run.

The hellish heat from the past couple of weeks has finally broken and there is a gentle rain falling. I am more tired today than I have been in years. It's the perfect kind of morning to retreat back under the covers. Unfortunately, I am needed in the land of the gainfully employed so I must slam a Pepsi, power up with some Cheetos, and give my body another half hearted apology for the crap I put it through.

It's good for weight loss but not much else. I'm getting tired and cranky and dealing with people is just not my strong suite right now.

When mom doesn't feel good, shouldn't people be helpful? And by people I mean the kid? The partner? Anyone??? Hell no. Same routine no matter what - so kid... partner... anyone else.... if I bite your head off you should be thankful that's all I've done.

When basketball started again, I realized how bad my vision had become. Last season I couldn't make out faces on the opposite side of the court. This year I couldn't see the ball well when it was at the other end of the court from me and had to ask those near me to give me play by play. I finally broke down and went for an exam and my vision had deteriorated a lot.

The doc asked me if I'd like contact lenses and I wasn't prepared to answer that. Last I knew, if you had a stigmatism, you couldn't wear contacts. Also, I was not crazy about sticking something in my eye. Now as I learn to loathe my glasses, I'm rethinking having a contact exam. I had no idea on the price but figured they must not be too high nowadays if they'd give away a months worth.

Discount contact lenses has all kinds to choose from. I had no idea you could get bifocal contacts! I am so uneducated so have spent some time on this site learning about costs and use. I am confused by the number of lenses per box. Six lenses per box - is that six lenses total / three pairs or six pairs of lenses? That could make quite a difference in the cost. I think I would want conventional lenses rather than disposables.

Ewww, as I browse around through the accessories.... http://www.discountcontactlenses.com/da.asp?ID=45 Inserter/Remover? You poke that in your eye??? Good lord. I won't be getting any kind that could need pulled off my eye with that! I remember my mom would just touch hers with her fingertip and it would stick to her finger. She had hard lenses though. I broke one once while checking to see if it was hard or soft. Ooops.

My mom had eye surgery and I don't think she wears contacts at all anymore. Gonna have to let her know that they have really cute reading glasses. Nice site if you need contact lenses or supplies.

Brooke wrote about her new life in the desert and how dry her skin is getting. Every single day I tell my mom how much I value our humidifier and try to tell her to get one. It's amazing how much better we feel and how much better shape our skin is in because we run one all winter long. I've gotten to where I can tell pretty quickly when ours is out of water. My nose will start to dry out and burn. The funny way to tell is reach down and give Lucy a love pat that results in a big ZAP! on her nose.

I've been thinking about saving for a whole house/furnace mounted humidifier for next year. Our current model takes wick type filters that have to be changed a couple of times per season. They aren't cheap either!

Humidifier Information compares the different types. Every impeller type I've had has not lasted very long but maybe it's just the brand. Our current one is a Honeywell and it's lasted a few years now. We had to do a repair job last year as Lucy slammed into it and cracked one of the reservoirs. Other than that and the filter expense, it's been a good one.

Reach Access flosser. Go get one and buy the replacements that have the paste on them. Makes your mouth feel loved.

Calcaneus, talus, metatarsals, phalanges, lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Looking at C's xrays this morning and immediately my brain starts labeling the bones of the foot. Throwback to EMT school.

Anyway, here is the foot:

I was in pretty good physical shape when C. busted his toe. I had to fight really hard to keep at least 30 minutes a day blocked out for working out. Then the toe happened and my time got sucked up taking care of him and doing things to make his life better. Now the toe is mostly mended and I can have some me time again.

Got back on the treadmill for a run this week and it just wasn't happening. My legs protested something fierce so I'm doing the couch to 5k run plan. So far so good except my chest hurts and I cough when I run now. My mom thinks it's from smoking but I have not smoked for almost four years. Doubt that's it.

So upping my water intake a lot. I literally forget to drink so every hour and a half, I down a glass of water. I noticed the bathroom baseboards are dirty. Funny the things you notice when you spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

As for that law of attraction... when Eva wanted to go to Brazil, from the very first moment she mentioned it to me, I set my mind to the fact that she would go and I never once waivered. The same thing applies to every job I've applied for. I've only not wanted one job and guess what? I didn't get the offer either! The only time I've not been been offered a job I'v interviewed for.

If I ever need drug rehab, send me to The Watershed. I've never seen a rehab center like that before. I had a friend kick an addiction to meth after being court ordered to a facility near here. It wasn't anything nice like that but rather a cold, clinical facility. They basically dried a person out and wished them well. The Watershed provides therapies and education. Therapies, meaning family therapy as well as individual. They also have different levels of inpatient as well as outpatient treatments. I wish Iowa had some places like that as we still battle a tremendous meth problem.

Iowa has a really nifty web site called Iowa Meth Watch. No matter how many times I read the ingredients in meth, it still just amazes me that people will put that in their system. A friend of mine had a meth addiction and I asked him just how in the Hell do you ever get stupid enough to even try it. He said you get reallllly drunk and someone says "Hey, wanna have some fun?" Reason #4,749 why I don't get drunk.

Health Adel is a health care site featuring what they refer to as "unique hand written medical health information articles". In my opinion, that is sort of confusing since "hand written" is cancelled out by the nature of being online. I would describe it as medical health information presented in layman's terms or easy to understand health articles.

I've started working out hot and heavy again. Maybe too heavy as this is day three of my legs trying to detach and run off without me. I hate to tell the legs that they have about 45 minutes of lifting to do later this morning. Did you know muscle is built by injuring it and the act of the muscle repairing itself? I found a really cool site that I've replaced fitday.com with. I gotta get moving so will have to tell you about it later. Happy Thursday!

Looking back over the pictures from last night and wondering where in the world did that belly come from. My mom thinks it's a gyno issue but I got out the fat calipers and they don't make excuses or lie. On the scale dealing solely with body fat content, I am "overfat". Not by just a smidgen but quite a bit actually and pretty much all of it is in my midsection.

When I discuss my weight, people assume I am speaking from a cosmetic standpoint. They say "Oh shut up! You are not fat! You look great!" While I appreciate the sentiment, the fact that I am carrying this new body weight in my belly is dangerous. Read "Belly Full of Danger" to see what I mean. Of course I can see in pictures that I am not proportioned in a weird way and it's not flattering but the main issue is that I want to live a long and healthy life. I don't want to fight diabetes and heart disease and so on.

I mentioned last week about a new site I found. It's called Spark People. (Be forewarned... if you use the nutrition tracker and enter a fast food outing, you will be shocked!) It's not a diet site so much as it's a lifestyle site. It addresses nutrition and fitness as well as overall life goals and being mentally fit. The handiest feature for me is the water tracker. I seldom get the sensation of thirst so it's not uncommon for me to go well past noon without a drink.

Last week I recorded a couple of normal days water consumption and a few days of trying to force myself up to the 8 glasses recommended. On the days where I didn't force it, I recorded 2 and 3 glasses respectively. Add a small cup of milk with dinner and that's my total fluid consumption on a normal day. I bet that's hell on my kidneys! On the days where I tried to force 8 glasses, I made it to 8 once and was up every hour all night visiting the bathroom. The other days I would shut off liquids by 8:30PM and I could only make it to 6 glasses.

Again, it's a time issue for me. How can I work my job, tend to my kids, keep my house clean, be of service to the community, work out an hour a day, eat six small meals, sleep 8 hours, drink 8 glasses of water and visit the bathroom the corresponding number of times and only have 24 hours to do all of this in? Anyone have the magic formula figured out yet? Please share if you do.

Almost every morning I sit down to the computer and think "Gee, I can't see well today." Sometimes I even comment to my coworker about it before I realize that I don't have my glasses on yet. Duh. I don't know if I'll ever get used to them. At night it feels like they are still on my face when they aren't. I don't know if that is normal but it's aggravating.

My mom had eye surgery a few years ago and now only needs glasses to read small print. She wore contacts almost her entire adult life and was happy to give them up. I read an article in US News & World Report about laser eye surgery and the differences. In it, they quote Glenn Hagele, founder and Executive Director of the Council for Refractive Surgery Quality Assurance (http:/www.USAEyes.org). From there I went to the USA Eyes site and found a section called 50 Tough Questions For Your Lasik Doctor that is helpful in knowing what to ask beforehand. I don't know if I'll ever get brave enough to even look seriously into something such as eye surgery but I will be bookmarking this site.

Most of Iowa had a blizzard yesterday afternoon. We received some snow and an awfully high wind that lingers yet today. My friends left for Maui today (assuming their flight has left) and all of this has me longing for summer. Yes, I usually love winter the most but these extremes are not what I like at all.

My days of running around barefoot are over, thanks to Todd, so I'll be needing sandals when the weather turns warm. Ever heard of rainbow sandals? They are a bit more expensive than your traditional walmart bought sandal but each one is handmade and uses parachute stitching for durability. I wonder if they are dog proof. That's a joke of course but our lovely Lucy does love a good flip flop.

As I continue to work the program at sparkpeople.com, I am seeing this at the end of each day: "Your current calories are so far off from your recommended range that it can negatively impact your health more than anything else you did today." I guess I am living testament to the research that says if you don't give your body what it needs, it will hoard it to protect itself. I work out really hard and don't have the nutrition to support that. The website at sparkpeople is really helping me to see where I am going and what I need to do. More fruit is a must. I really dislike fruit. Chocolate should be a fruit then I'd be okay. I also continue to struggle with the 8 glasses of water a day.

This morning we got up at 6, got the boy around and took him north to his dads then back down the interstate south to watch Emily's basketball tournament. They played at a college where other activities were taking place so we had to park in the back forty and walk quite a ways to get to the gym. Stood and watched basketball for five hours then went to Pizza Hut in the afternoon. Yeah, that sure fits in the nutritional guidelines. The bad thing is that my late lunch there ate up 2/3 of my caloric intake for the day and it's still sitting in my stomach I think. If you've ever gone to healthy eating and then thrown down a junk meal, you know what I mean. It just sits there like your stomach doesn't know what the heck to do with it. This isn't lowfat cottage cheese! This isn't lean ham! What is this?? hahaha But really, it's like that. So, more water. More fruit. No more Pizza Hut.

After Em's games, she said she could only hear me out of all of her cheering section. Does that mean I have a big mouth? I think it's because I sit closer and yeah, I have a big mouth. I get so excited watching her. She's got a lot of hustle and she steals the ball a lot. Some of the parents drive me so crazy. A lot of kids aren't allowed to just be kids and have fun because there is a parent coaching from the sidelines. I think they forget that A.) they already have a coach and B.) the prize is only a ribbon, not a WNBA contract.

I cannot do ab crunches properly so I asked a trainer for advice and she suggested yoga or pilates. I have practiced yoga a couple of times a month for quite a few years now. It can be done while sitting at your desk at work. Learn about yoga poses and yoga health benefits and see how simple it is to "strike a pose" and strengthen and lengthen muscles. The boy makes fun of me for yoga but he and his dad are both cursed with tight hamstring muscles that cause them to shift most of their walking momentum into their hips, thus causing backaches. I have said yoga is the cure but recently C's physical therapist backed me up completely on that as did his toe surgeon.

Doris Barrilleaux is often referred to as the first lady of body building as she was one of the first, if not the first, serious woman body builder. She pushed the sport into the limelight as a sport for both men and women and helped shape the world of body building for women as it is today. In her 60s now, she no longer competes but instead takes photos of body builders. I think she is also the same Doris in this article about people who invested in life insurance policies of terminally ill people.

When I was pregnant, I was devasted when I couldn't snap my regular jeans anymore. My boss at the time showed me how to loop a rubberband around the button and through the button hole and back over the button to make an expander. (I actually still do this sometimes.) I remember on occasion the rubberband would break or would go flying off in the bathroom then I'd be stuck with my jeans gapped open. That's a lovely look. NOT!

Now there is a product to replace the old rubberband trick, hip & cool b-buckles. No more ugly maternity pants! They work by buckling around your belt loops and are nicely designed, unlike the tacky rubberband with belly poking out around it. I think I will get one of these for my god-daughter. The Rockstar Mama one is really cute. Does this look like a pregnant belly to you?? I went from flat stomach to basketball and flew right past this cute little bump stage.

I have taken a whole lot of flack for this latest attempt to be healthy. People don't get how I can take sugar out of my diet. No cookies, cakes, or desserts of any kind really. No more Pepsi. No chips or pretzels. I snack on carrots. Do I like it? Hell no! I like how I feel. I have to get up earlier and go to bed later to get all the exercise in but that's okay too. The sugar cravings have subsided now. I feel good and the tape says I've lost 3.5 here and there in the last 9 days.

Tonight I am pushing myself one step further. I am going to eat spinach with my supper. I hate spinach. It is #2 on my list. Right there behind sauerkraut. I'm going to make myself eat it because it's loaded with fiber and other good thing I needs. If people on Survivor can eat rotten fish, I can eat spinach. Only a quarter cup though. *shudder*

I lifted weights as normal this morning. They wouldn't let me stay back with C. while they installed his hardware so I wandered around Walmart for over an hour. I wish I'd worn my pedometer to know how much walking I did in there. (boring!!) Tonight my friend Lori and I took her cute little puppy and walked the trail. Couple of miles or more there at a really good clip. My legs were about to give out since I was doing lunges when she called to say she was on her way.

I just entered my daily food into sparkpeople.com and I just barely have enough calories for today. The really bad thing is that, while still being in my goal ranges, I had too much fat and not enough protein and carbs. Tracking all of my habits makes it easy to pinpoint which things affect me which way. Tomorrow I will be a slug.

I have been going to the lake pretty much every day for about 8 years. I used to go as an escape from work and the noise of home. Now I go to run with the dogs. Every morning is completely different and there is almost always something that makes me pause and give thanks that I can see it.

This morning there were several varieties of ducks and geese taking advantage of the newly opened water. The wind was just crisp enough to invigorate. Bright sun coming up over the horizon. Perfect morning.

Do they still make med alert bracelets? I haven't seen one for a long time. There is a sort of online version of this now with a new emergency card that stores all of your pertinent medical information online. The site leads you through the enrollment process and provides all the information you need to share with your doctor in order to facilitate getting your records online. The FAQ section of the site explains how to fax medical documents for inclusion in your online records and answers other questions. Pricing plans are shown. I hate websites that make you give out contact information before they will share their prices.

Today for my lunch break, I played basketball. By myself. How lame is that? It was actually very fun and burned a lot of calories in 20 minutes. Also found out I cannot bend over backwards and see the hoop to make a backwards shot anymore. I wonder what decade that ability disappeared....

This would be my finger following an incident involving a door today. $116 and a splint later, I think I will live.

I recently marked my four year mark without a cigarette. It was a quiet celebration this year as no one remembered except me. I suppose that is good in a way since it surely means the family no longer remembers the struggles I had while quitting. The first and second anniversaries were pretty big deals because I didn't kill or maim anyone. Those first two years were pretty tough. I can honestly say now that I only think of smoking as something I am thankful I do not do.

My best friend recently went on a trip to Hawaii and her plane flight was miserable physically because she could not smoke. I am so thankful that I no longer have to plan my life around the time between cigarettes. One of my best online friends is struggling with her addiction and I pray that she can find her way to successful quitting. Hard battle but well worth it. C. belongs to JEL (Just Eliminate Lies), a large group of teens against big tobacco. So proud of him. Anyway, to those struggling or looking for inspiration to quit, just look around you and keep digging until you find your motivation.

I just finished lifting weights and the old finger is really throbbing. I did not use it but I guess just getting the blood pumping affected it. I measured and the non swollen ring finger is just shy of two inches around. The ouch finger is almost three inches. No wonder it feels like it might split open.

How long does it take a finger to heal? I am so frustrated by this splint and cannot type with a dang with it on. Yesterday I pretty much rested my hand all day but it still throbbed. If I hold it up, it doesn't do that so I spent a good deal of yesterday wandering around Nebraska Furniture Mart and Cabela's with my hand up like a dork.

Today I had to do laundry and clean and all that normal weekend stuff and kept catching it on things and springing it backwards. I got mad once and took the splint off to find it's all black and blue and swollen still. It will not bend at all and I can't even really take my other hand and force it to bend. It will go just a tiny ways then it's like there is rod in there holding it straight. It's been a freakin' week! Enough already!!

Took a very long walk with the boy tonight. I think we went about four miles at a pretty fast pace. You learn a lot when you walk with your kids and it's good exercise to boot. The sidewalks in town are atrocious so we walked in the street. Thank God no one hates me enough to run me down.

I stopped wearing my splint earlier in the week and have been practicing trying to move it. I can actually force it to bend a little further each day but it still doesn't want to on it's own. I know it will take time but it's actually freaking me out. I make my living with these hands and need to get another 25 years out of them before they start giving me fits of arthritis. I read somewhere that a severe strain needs as much time to heal as a fracture. Blech.

The actual pain is very manageable now except for at 3AM when I was crawling back into bed and snagged it in the blankets. THAT HURT!

I have lost many people to various kinds of cancer but my biggest personal fear has always been brain tumors. If you have read here long you know I used to suffer debilitating headaches that would last for days. I was just sure I had a tumor in my head and I wouldn't survive. Now I only get a few headaches a month and I'm at a point in my life where I don't fear death so much anymore.

I am still glad to know science is bounding forward in brain tumor treatment. The term "gamma knife" makes me think of laser cutting into the brain but it's actually the delivery of a large dose of radiation to a specific target with surgical precision. Rather than blast a large area with radiation, they can hone in on the actual tumor. This type of accuracy is very important as radiation is just as harmful to good cells as bad.

The boy has shingles. Did you know kids can get those?? I thought they only affected the elderly. My great grandmother had them when she was near 80 and the only other people I know who have them are older adults.

He came home last night with a rash on his back and got up very sick in the night with a horrible headache and backache. Two doctors looked him over today and said that's what it is. I guess the chicken pox virus goes dormant in your body and in times of stress or compromised immune system, it can flare back up as shingles at any age. Elderly are primarily affected due to their immune system weakening with age. I guess his must be stress related. They told me today that the medicine will stop the virus in it's tracks and knock it back but the painful, imflammed nerves could last six months. The poor kid just finally got his toe back to normal and now this. Hopefully he'll kick it really quickly.

When I swapped smoking for eating, I took up walking as a way to combat the weight gain. I started with a cheapy little step counter then Moosie started doing 10,000 steps a day so I decided to try that. I invested in a talking pedometer and have used it so much that it's needed three battery changes. Now I'm thinking of upgrading again to one that monitors heart rate.

TVProducts4Less.com has some pedometers including one that calculates heart rate. They have lots of other cool stuff too, including ice packs! (Still searching for the perfect ice pack. )

Are you in the market for some spendy new threads? I have never heard of the brand Faith Connexion before but after browsing around, I see it's what some of the Graceland University students wear. Everything I like is very expensive but that's the norm. Somehow I always gravitate towards what I cannot afford. When my kids are raised, I *will* be the trendiest grandma around in some of these 7 for all Mankind and maybe a shirt like this. If my mother is still around, she'll still be on me to dress my age.

Ah, something I know a lot about... troubled teen. I was one and then I worked with them for five years at a job and was a foster parent. In a way, I still help by unofficially mentoring.

Anyway, Help For Troubled Teens is a site with options for parents to help turn a kid back around once they've stepped onto the path to hell. If you thinl your teen may be in trouble, check out this helpful list of common warning signs. I had the truancy thing down pat, completely changed my set of friends and became very aggressive. Without intervention, who knows what path my life would have taken.

Helpmyteen.com recommends long term treatment facilities rather than boot camp type IN YOUR FACE kind of solutions. They don't deal with hard core drug or legal issues but rather kids who are on the verge of making those disastrous choices.

My finger was hurt on March 26th and it really gets worse every day instead of better. I am going to see an orthopedic specialist later in the week. One can never have too many doctor bills, ya know? I wouldn't worry about it but I do make my living with my hands and unless we win the lottery (which we don't play) then I need 25 more years out of these fingers.

I'm trying very hard to devote one hour every day to weight lifting and walking. Still not losing any weight but am seeing muscle definition in my arms. I'm thinking about bumping this up to two hours a day which would mean getting up even earlier than the butt crack of dawn. That seems ridiculous to me but for whatever reason, my body is not cooperating. A lot of people insist it's because I do not eat enough and my body is holding onto what it thinks it's going to need. Maybe I need to get up an extra hour early to eat more. Ha. Seriously aggravating as I was skin on bones skinny 37 of my 40 years. I'd like to be somewhere in the middle. Wouldn't we all??

I saw a hand specialist last week who said I needed very concentrated therapy to regain mobility, strength and coordination in my hand and finger again. He promised it would be incredibly painful and prescribed vicodin to be taken right before each session. Tonight was session one of six and he did not lie. It hurt very, very much but I was able to breathe through it with the help of only one vicodin rather than two. I have to continue working with my hand in between sessions with the pros. For this I will probably need two vicodin to get over the pain and the fact that I know when it's coming since I'm doing it to myself. I really don't have patience for this crap.

The weather has been so great that I have been able to use the trail again early in the morning to run. I lost a lot over the winter and my much older knees are protesting loudly. I don't push too hard due to a fear of pulling something before vacation but I do want to be able to run far before summer is over. Christopher can actually run further than I can. Whose idea was it for that kid to go out for track?? It's a great activity that we can do together but what a blow to my ego to stop and gasp for air like a fish out of water while he continues on. What a show off.

Not sure what the heck is going on but my stomach is all blech and I'm super tired. Todd came in and said they are having him come into work early tomorrow. Gotta love that since it wakes me up in the middle of the night an extra time. That would be in addition to the times I get woke up by Lucy needing out and C. getting up to go to the bathroom. New parents talk about how their babies don't sleep through the night. "HA!!" I say! My baby will soon be 14 and he still doesn't sleep through the night. /end of whining

I have lost another half pound this past week through incredibly hard work and lots of icky sweating. I know there is no magic pill but maybe subliminal CDs would help with motivation and acceptance of this body I have now.

With an extensive catalog of titles covering just about everything you can control with your mind, you are sure to find something. I could use one or two from every category. Mathematical Genius? I am not sure if a voice telling me I loved arithmetic would work but if the speaker had an accent like Cal's, I'd sure listen. The demo clip I listened to had a similar British flavor. They offer 100% money back guarantee so if you buy something and are not satisfied, just let them know.

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE! Have you ever seen that on a t-shirt? I have and while it's sort of haha funny, it's not at all funny to those suffering for it. Ex hubby #1 (also referred to as the guy who taught me how to get properly divorced) had that in school and it was very frustrating for him. I suspect I know others who have it as well.

Back when I was working with children, I took a few courses on it and there wasn't a whole lot that could be done to actually "fix" it. Now there is free help for dyslexia. Children with dyslexia quickly learn how to compensate to the best of their ability making it hard to notice at first glance. Since it's such a hard disorder to detect in the school environment, parents need to be very diligent in reading with their children and paying attention to see if there are any signs of a problem. If you think you might need to spend some extra time reading with your child to help them feel comfortable and confident, download the free courses and give it a try.

Press Release:
Dyslexia? Now there is Free Help

Now there is free online help for people who have dyslexia or simply did not learn to read well while going to school. It is a click-‘n-learn program. Students and adults may learn decoding, basic reading skills, and advanced reading skills all with the click of a mouse.

The program is called ReadingBySix. It provides a systematic approach to helping people defeat dyslexia and related reading problems. You will notice measurable progress from week to week provided participants are active in their studies and do their assignments. The online courses are virtually free when you give a small donation. If you choose not to donate, they are completely free.

Dyslexia is a distinct learning disability characterized by difficulties in decoding individual words. These difficulties may not show up in other cognitive and academic abilities. Dyslexia results from the confusion caused by the brain’s inability to associate abstract symbols with abstract ideas. This includes associating letters and words with the sounds they represent. The key to defeating dyslexia is learning to decode English sounds.

You are invited to review the website and take a few of the courses for practice and learn how the program works. Then use it to teach your children or students to read. It can be used for preschool, home school, grade school, or high school. Students, adults, and children can use it. It teaches reading 100% of the time and it’s all electronic. If you know of people who need help, please tell them about ReadingBySix: http://www.dyslexiadecoded.com/

Source: Dyslexia Decoded

I had therapy again tonight and the progress is becoming very apparent now. The funky finger issue is also quite apparent. If I try to make a fist, my DIP joint (the last joint nearest the fingernail) will not bend at all. If someone stabilizes the PIP joint (the middle joint) then the DIP joint has some range of motion. Not the 90 degrees I'd like to see but more like 40 degrees. Still better than nothing which is what I get when using both joints together.

The other funky finger issue is that if the therapist forefully bends just the DIP joint, it does not hurt. Same with the PIP joint. However, if she moves both together as if I were making a fist, the pain is just incredible. Even with Vicodin it is just absolutely unbearable. People, I gave birth to a baby with NO pain meds so I know my pain tolerance is quite high. This finger thing if done just right can make me swear like a trooper and bawl like a baby. It is really getting better though. Just not fast enough to suit me!

Tonight I started working out at a different place that has nicer equipment than I do at home. First time ever for me on a stepper, elliptical and recumbent bike. I split an hour up between those three machines and finished with a half hour on the treadmill. My hips already hurt. I burned less calories than if I had rode my bike, ran some stairs and jogged on the trail but I can tell that the workout affected different parts of my body. Change is good. Not to mention working out in an air conditioned room with a television is just awesome. Tomorrow I will go back and use the weight stations and see if that is much different than my free weights at home.

One more day until vacation. I'm very quietly pumped.

Now that I have hit FORTY I have started to really keep track of my health from head to toe in hopes of not getting ill. I do not fear death at all but I am afraid of old age and the things that go wrong when our bodies wear out. My biggest fear is blindnesss so I've been reading some at Eye Digest about various diseases that can afflict tired, old eyes.

My dad had macular degeneration and by the time he was 67, he couldn't see well enough to drive and by 68 he could no longer read. His last four years were spent not seeing much of anything at all unless he held his head at a certain angle. They've made great progress in treatment in the last decade but it still scares me to death. At my last eye exam, the doctor warned me about hereditary eye diseases and said I should wear very dark sunglasses outside and of course take a zinc supplement.

Being at the computer all day every day has already led to dry eyes which I treat with some Visine and vision breaks to force myself to look away from the screen and focus far away for a couple of minutes. I took the test linked to in the dry eyes section and according to it I don't have the clinical