She comes in the door this morning and says to me "You changed your website!!!" and my first reaction was "Yeah. Did that last weekend" and my second was "Where did you look at my website from???!!!" Guess I'd better really watch my mouth and more importantly, my attitude. If she's reading from school then I'm sure other little beings are as well. To borrow from my favorite Kitty... poop.
The boys were stalking each other through the house with pretend machine guns when they met face to face in the laundry room. They both fired at least a hundred rounds then the real fight broke out. Who killed who?? I gave them *the look* and they decided they both died at the same time and fell to the floor.
Seeing as how there is never enough drama in this house, I began to scream "My boys!! Oh no! My boys!!!" Ben rolled up on his side, opened one eye and asked "What??" I said "Oh, I can't stand it! Both my boys are dead! I have no sons now!!" He said "Uh, it's only pretend."
By all means, carry on then....
So the reason for having to find jeans that I could squueeeeze into: C's school Christmas program was tonight. He had a trumpet solo and he nailed it! I promised I wouldn't jump up and yell "Woooohooooo!!" but I wanted to. Todd kept waiting for the 5th grade band to break out into Smoke On The Water. He was visibly disappointed.
Christopher just said "You don't know squat!" and Ben said "Sure I do. This is a squat." and proceeds to squat.
"Benjamin, it's just an expression."
From the bathroom: "Moooommmm!!!! My shirt is stuck!!!!" (sounds more like an elephant has fallen in the tub)
I go in and there is my WONDERFUL son, trying to put his school shirt on over his pajamas. I carefully point out that it is usually more efficient if a person takes off the pajamas first, then gets dressed. What happened next is a 2 minute blur of very loud voices, a large dog trying desperately to become invisible if only for a minute, and much stomping by the boy stuck in pajamas.
I am not sure what I said as I do not deal well with grouchy people. I know I used my mean mother voice and made the announcement that it was time to get out the trumpet. Ah, the sweet sound of angry trumpet playing in the morning. He may or may not still be stuck in his pajamas.
After supper I grabbed one of the many cookbooks to browse for a fun snack that Emily could make tomorrow. As I was skimming the index, the words jumped out at me - COD FISH BALLS. Before rational thought kicked in, I heard myself say outloud "Cod fish balls???!!!"
Emily immediately burst into a fit of laughter and would not stop. Just the way she laughs always makes me lose it so we had a five minute gigglefest over cod fish balls. I just hope to God she wasn't thinking the same thing I was thinking.
Congrats to the Moose family!
Looking at the new little man over at Moosies reminds me of when C. was born. He was so little that we had to pack blankets around him in the car seat in order for the belts to fit correctly. Preemie diapers fell right off of him and they didnt make socks small enough for his feet. He didn't have a butt crack because his butt cheeks hadn't had a chance to fill in yet. It's amazing to look at this stocky kid 'o mine and remember when he weighed the same as a bag of flour.
Tonight was C's official crossing the bridge from Webelos (Cub Scouts) into Boy Scouts. The banquet lasted from 6PM until just a bit ago. Neither Todd nor I feel very good today. Todd seems worse off but I am thorougly convinced that's just the difference between a man and a woman. Women get sick and trudge on. Me, being the big meanie that I am, just told him to go to bed. He was sitting on the couch beside me moaning and shivering. That drives me crazy. If you're that sick, go to bed already!
Saturday we went to Des Moines so that Emily could see Laney. While she did that, we took the boys to the fishing swap meet. They went to a seminar put on by Mid Iowa Bassmasters and led by Outdoors Dan. They each got a rod/reel combo for attending. I tried to get one for Emily but they wouldn't give another one since she wasn't there. Never hurts to ask. C. ended up giving her his since he likes spincast reels better.
Yesterday Ben and Em were both sick so I got up extra early to clean and disinfect. There's a funny story about Ben but it'll have to wait. Time to jump up and throw some laundry in. Here's hoping this is a great week.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about
them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law
Nolte
Every night as I listen to C. practice his trumpet, I think about what his band teacher said, "Christopher is a fine trumpet player." Yes he is. It's amazing how well he has taken to it. His practicing doesn't even bother me anymore. He needs a new mouthpiece and I'm not sure if they are standardized. Like is a Bach 7C the same as a Horner 7C or a Yamaha 7C? Anyone know?
p.s. to Lori. Sorry I couldnt talk the other day. Work is just nuts! My laptop burned up so I lost your email address and can't even send you a note. Email me so I can add you back please.
We took C. and one of his friends to Pizza Hut last night as a reward for an A on a science test. When did the Hut get so expensive?? Yikes! Anyway, I got quite an education listening to the two of them. On the way home we had a spelling bee in the car and then played a game of Blurt! I told Todd we must adopt the neighbor kid. He is so smart. An example from the game of Blurt!:
Who is the greatest basketball player of all time? Larry Bird!
Who did he play pro ball for? Celtics!
What was his number? 33!
Where is he from? French Lick, Indiana!
Genius! And I didn't even have to coach him!
Part of living in this small of a town means 3/4 of the kids you start school with will be with you when you graduate. One would think that would mean everyone would be friends but even a class of 50 divides off into cliques. I hate that. This is the year that C's class is beginning to divide. I hate watching him struggle as I remember so well what that was like having to choose.
There was a girl in my class who was very nice but she didn't make the cut when the popular girls formed their little group. The reasons why arent important now but I remember one girl coming up to me and saying "Are you going to sit with us or her?" Let's see... sit with some mean little ------- or sit with a friend? Easy choice for me. I sat with a friend and was immediately culled from the herd. I still believe that was a good choice and I'd make it again but it made my teenage years so very difficult.
This morning I asked C. about the current breakdown of his friends. A couple of the familiar names were missing and when I pressed further, he said "Mom, they are just hateful and mean" and proceeded to tell me some of the nasty things they say about people less fortunate than themselves.
So here I am again only this time in a guidance role. I do NOT want C. to travel down the hard road I chose. On the other hand, I will not allow him to be a hateful little shit just so he can be popular.
Another parent pointed out to me that she thinks C. and some others are peeling off the mean boys from their popular clique but I don't know about that. I have to be careful not to read too much of my high school experience into C's life but at the same time, I can't afford to be blindsided by a complete friend change and all that comes with that. My poor mom didn't see it coming when it happened to me.
More on this later maybe... right now it's time to get ready for work.
Never start a day with a conversation with C's dad. We couldn't get along in the mornings when we lived under the same roof so we sure as heck can't now. GRRRR! So much for that co-parenting. I want a cigarette.
Todd's nephew graduated this year so we spent yesterday at his reception. Somehow I only ended up with a couple of pics of him and a ton of Laney. She knows I'm that crazy woman with the camera that she can see herself in. As soon as I walked through the door she was on me wanting to see "Laney a-gain!"
C. goes to the orthodontist today to start his long journey towards straight teeth. I guess today he will get the appliance to spread his palette. Poor kid. He keeps asking me what they are going to do and if it will hurt. I am not the person to ask about the dentist. I've never had a bad experience yet I still anxiety sweeps over me just thinking about it. ACK!!! His dad is taking him to the first one so he doesn't succumb to a terrible case of "mommy's boy". Hopefully it will go well for him.
This morning the big boy goes back to the orthodontist. The kid is just dragging and mama's not real alert either.
Last night he had a ballgame quite a distance from home. He didn't want to go since he has a cold and he knew he'd be getting up at 6 this morning. I told him if he missed the game, they'd give his position to someone else. Wouldn't ya know, we drive over there and the coach changed his position anyway. I was incredibly disappointed in the way C. handled it. He is usually a mellow kid but last night he got a little lippy. First time in all the years of baseball that I've had to go to the dugout and get onto my own kid. Hopefully it will be the last.
We didn't get home from that until after 10 so we're all tired and he's coughing his head off this morning. Better go dump some medicine into him and get him ready for whatever happens on the 2nd ortho visit.
In lieu of anything meaningful on my mind this morning, let me just say how much it sucks that summer is coming to a close and school starts next week. C. finally got his actual braces yesterday and a new pair of shoes for school that fit me! Summer is gone and my baby is growing up. I don't know how I miss so much time. I sure don't sleep through any of it.
One going to kindergarten, one to 4th and my baby to middle school. Middle school??? That's when boys and girls start kissing isn't it?? Egads! Maybe I'll just keep him home.
What I want to do today is see the new mall with the kids. I hope we can and I pray to God I don't regret it.
C. just came through the living room, stopped in front of the TV where the presidential debate is on, and made this funky noise like "bah-deep! bah-deep! bah-deep! pffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttt!!!" and then went on. I asked "What in the heck was that????" and he said "Oh nothing. I just don't like George W. Bush." First laugh I've had re: the election.
peeee... esssss... before any Bush lovers jump onto me, you should know we don't discuss politics in front of the children or much at all for that matter. It leads to discourse and strife if the right leaning man and the left leaning woman talk about the war or the election. Used to be we only had to avoid the topic of gun control. sigh.
20 years ago my bestest buddy had a beautiful baby girl. Now that beautiful baby girl is all grown up and just had her own little girl. She is the sweetest baby and last night I got to babysit her. Isn't she adorable?
Today the boy scouts had their annual turkey shoot. If I weren't tired, I'd go into detail. I'm exhausted though so I'll just tell you that C. won 1st place in both the .22 with a fixed target and in trap shooting with the shotgun. You'd never guess he was born to a woman who hates guns. He's sure proud of the bruises on his shoulder. I think he likes those more than the cash he won.
I often wish I could go back 20 years and re-do all the things I've done. This is the only day of the year I wish I could go back 30 and be a kid again. I miss throwing new clothes off behind me somewhere while I look for the good stuff. I really miss calling my best friend and sharing the details of our bounties.
I did get the second best Christmas present I could ask for as an adult when my Packers came back to beat the Vikings yesterday. It was even sweeter because a friend had told me that my Packers were going down. Todd said I should call their house last night and say "I was at the store and missed the end of the game. Who won? What was the score?" I may do one better and buy him a belated Christmas present in the form of a Packers t-shirt. HA!
Of course the best present ever would have been snow. I checked the forecast at 5AM to see if there had been a change. The only change was in temps. 55 next week?!?!?!? And rain???
2 hours and 10 minutes until the kids get here and Christmas officially begins. I better go finish the morning chores. Hope everyone has a lovely day and if you're in snow, throw a snowball for me, would ya?
I got up early this morning to do some work and Ben got up with me. That pretty much put an end to the work idea but I have learned a lot. In a span of about ten minutes we covered the following:
Like I said, I'm getting no work done but this is much more fun. He is still sitting here jabbering away about Em's cat and how she likes tuna and tuna is healthy and this guy on Batman, when he sees a dead fish, he goes like this and eats the whole thing...
This week has been terribly long and I've been fighting off some kind of illness all week. So far I am winning the battle against the germs but may lose soon since I was in Germ Central for parent/teacher conferences tonight. I swear, almost everyone there was in some state of illness. C's teacher said she'd had about six kids absent each day this week.
About a block's worth of our town burned this afternoon. The apartment mentioned in the news story belonged to C's friend as did the dog who died. The boys hung out here for awhile this evening and I have to say, the kid's a tough one. I suspect it will hit him hard later when he's had some time to think about exactly what he lost.
I hate mornings when the boy and I get off to a bad start. Even though it's not a big deal, I still hate sending him off to school without time to get world back upright again.
Thank God summer is almost here.
This weekend I have tried to spend some time with my favorite kids. I said all I wanted for Mothers Day weekend was to collect my favs and spend a little time with each of them. Unfortunately, the weekend ran out before I could get to them all. I truly enjoy C's friends and watching them grow up. At one point yesterday we had six kids sitting around our big sectional couch. I looked at Todd and said "Look at this group and then imagine that some people have families like this!" He commented that he was quite thankful that three of them were on loan. ha!
I remember when I was a kid my mom and her friends would take several of us to the lake or the pool or whatever and all the kids would hang out and play while the moms visited. That was another time for sure as people are too busy to do that now.
This story makes me mad as hell. I've taken a lot of shit for being overprotective of Christopher but dammit, I did not have to worry about him being murdered while riding his bike with a friend. Why?? Because he was not allowed to leave the street directly in front of our house! And you know what??? He is STILL NOT!! If he rides his bike off his street, I am with him. It's not a popular decision but it's mine to make. I cannot even fathom letting two pretty little girls take off alone. My God, it just makes me so sick to think of the terror they experienced. Sick and mad.
He's at his first dance tonight. I went out to pick him up and his friend Matthew said I couldn't take him yet. Apparently they have grand plans to win the dodgeball tournament that started when the dancing stopped. I wish I had their energy. I just want to be in bed right now.
Christopher said he danced with a girl and it was stupid. I just hope he never develops his dad's dancing skills. He only danced when he was drunk and usually ended up with his pants around his ankles at some point. It's a redneck thing. Anyway....
I am soooooo tired. Hopefully he's ready to come home now. I was informed tonight that high school dances last until 3AM. I'm too old for this.
It seems as though someone is playing a little game between myself and Christopher's dad and stepmom. This needs to stop right now. Four people with different parenting methods are going to have a difficult time at best when it comes to working together. We do not need external forces with their own agenda getting in our business. What seems like a fun little game of gossip and story telling to you goes much deeper than that. It's my son's life. If you cannot support our goal to raise him to be a healthy, happy, well rounded and respectful kid, then step off. Take your game back to your own house. Thank you.
C. had a ball tournament in a town about 45 minutes away that lasted last night and all day today. The temperatures have been hovering near 100 for the past four days or so. No breeze. Just hot. Our guys got 3rd place and they had a lot of fun so it was worth it but wow, am I hot and my vision is totally messed up. I wore sunglasses all day but it still seems like I spent the last 12 hours staring into the blazing sun.
First day of school and I'm the one who couldn't sleep. I took yesterday off to spend one last day with the kids. We had planned to hang out at the pool but it was too cold so we went to Des Moines and ran around in the mall. I should've slept like a baby but I doubt I got even an hour sleep last night. I think my head is still reeling from the fact that it took $53 to fill the truck even though it already had a quarter tank of gas. We won't be able to survive long at that rate. Anyway, gotta tell a funny story...
For years I've wanted a VS bra but have never had the courage to be fitted nor have I wanted to spend that much money on such a stupid thing. Yesterday I got up the courage to be fitted and to my surprise, I've been buying the right size all along. Whew. What a relief that is. /sarcasm.
Going into Victoria's with Ben is highly recommended. Last time we ventured in with all the kids in tow and Ben immediately looked up under the nightie of a mannequin and said "Dad! You gotta see this! She has nothing on under here!" Todd about died on the spot, of course. Yesterday was no different. We walked in and he's checking out the mannequin's attire. Eva pointed this out to me and I said "Just ignore him. It's what he does and if you don't pay attention, he'll stop." I rushed off to a fitting room before I chickened out yet again.
Sorry, but there's just something in my brain that tells me getting professionally fitted for a bra is wrong. Anyway, I'm in the fitting room with a box full of overpriced bras when I hear this TAP, TAP, TAP on the door. It's Eva whispering "Are you in this one? Ben just broke a butt." Now normally I also have a thing against other females in a changing room with me but I let her right in so I could A.) hide her in there with me and B.) hear the details.
It seems that someone stuck a penny into one of the clear butts that model panties. If you've not seen one of the clear butts, then you are missing out. They are just that... molded plastic butts that you can see through and they line them up atop the panty bins to model the various selections. So, there's a penny in the butt and Ben says "That's not supposed to be there" and proceeds to fish around in the thong to try and remove the penny. Butt falls from it's perch atop the panty bin and breaks. Part of me is glad I was tucked away in the back of the store but another part wishes I'd have been there to see it. Later, I'm telling my "other mother" about it and she said "Ha! No big deal. It already had a crack in it!" Comedy gold.
I almost fell onto my own butt as we were walking out past the checkout and I heard the cashier say "That'll be $198 today." Whatever it was fit into a very small bag. One of the bras I tried on was $55 so I guess maybe she bought three or four bras. That is ridiculous. Hanes Her Way. Ten bucks tops. That's where it's at.
Bargain of the day scored by Ben. Old Navy sunglasses for 97 cents.
I'd like to tell you about the work call I took on my cellphone while trying to have a pleasant day with my children. Unfortunately, you'll have to miss a great story as I do not talk about my job here and if I did type it all out, I'd end up outraged all over again. Some professionals should not be allowed to speak to others.
Everyone warned me that parenting a junior high kid was not fun. Oh boy. Some days that's an understatement. He is in football which is so cool. I've not seen him so excited about anything as he is football. We practice in the backyard at night (even though I throw like a girl) and that time together is awesome.
The attitude that is trying to creep in is not so awesome. I never knew I was so stupid until he started to tell me. Guess how well this goes over???
This morning he called from school and wanted me to bring money to buy a football shirt. I get out there with my checkbook and he's acting cool in front of his friends. No problem - I understand and can live with that. When I told him to turn around and get his retainer off his breakfast tray and into his mouth, he snapped at me and said, in front of his friends, "You are being stupid. You are not listening!", I decided to be the mean and stupid mom that I supposedly am. I can tolerate a whole lot of crap but to walk away from a orthodontic appliance that cost his dad and I a whole lot of money that neither of us have and then call me stupid because I'm telling him to get it, oh buddy. He's not getting a football shirt now and had to tell the coach why.
I feel like I've already put in a full days work.
Since I quit smoking going on THREE YEARS AGO and became an exercise addict, this house has slowly became an athletic one rather than a couch potato one.
C. started junior high football this year so in addition to the weight lifting, running, walking, etc., we also play catch in the evenings. Todd and Christopher can both throw spirals like a bullet. Let me tell ya, I need to stick to alternating cardio/lifting schedule because no matter how hard I try, I throw a football like a 2nd grade girl.
Today I bought a nerf-like football and I can hurl it further but I still can't throw right. Believe it or not, you can learn how to throw from articles on the internet. I think I'll get it figured out eventually. At least I try, right?
After weeks of Visa delays, Eva is finally in Brazil. She left Sunday and arrived there yesterday morning. Thanks to the goodness that is the internet, we were able to track her flights in real time. Emily and I even found the control tower's radio transmission from JFK in New York and listened to her plane land there and take off again. She is such a brave girl. I don't think I could make it though the four flights to get there, let alone moving in with stangers in a strange country who don't speak my language.
Eva, eu falto-o e o cheiro do alimento ardente que parece ser wherever você é. Ame-o. (this is very funny to translate from english to portuguese and then back to english again.)
That'd be Eva, lucky enough to flop down and look so sweet in a hammock in Brazil while those of us left here freeze our asses off. Everyone knows I normally love the snow but this first snow of the season came in on bitterly cold winds.
Poor Lucy has a long winter ahead of her. She loves the snow but is pretty whimpy about being cold. My mom's poor old dog had to be put to sleep awhile back so Lucy has inherited his old bed. Hopefully that will keep her warm tonight as we plunge into the single digits.
School is back in session. This was the longest, toughest winter break yet. A big issue over C's head was to be resolved during break and it wasn't... again... so there was the whole buildup to it and then the fallout afterwards. We'll do it again in a week and hopefully for the last time. It's now spanned across three years and that's way past long enough for everyone.
The rut of everything going wrong seems to have jumped across the gap into the new year with us as well. Sick kids, sick dogs, thunderstorms!!, we've had it all. Now it's back to the grind for everyone. I am hoping the frenzied pace of the break was to remind us that our normal routine is really a blessing.
The cover story of the latest Newsweek is The Boy Crisis. I've read it twice already this morning because they are definitely talking about our boys. From the article, "He's 16, but he can't stay organized. He finishes his homework and then can't find it in his backpack. " I wish I had more time to elaborate on this but I don't.
I could pull quotes like this out of it "By almost every benchmark, boys across the nation and in every demographic group are falling behind. In elementary school, boys are two times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with learning disabilities and twice as likely to be placed in special-education classes. High-school boys are losing ground to girls on standardized writing tests. The number of boys who said they didn't like school rose 71 percent between 1980 and 2001, according to a University of Michigan study." but it'd be easier if you read it yourself.
I've heard several of our teachers complain about the No Child Left Behind method of education and how it really has way too narrow of a focus. Hopefully as more studies come out showing it's hurting rather than helping, those in charge will change it quickly.
(I hate these types of posts but they are necessary from time to time)
It is no one's business why I was at school today but since it seems there is now a rumor going around that C. was kicked out, I will fill you nosey people in.
*I* went to school on my own. *I* pulled C. out of his class to talk to the guidance counselor. No one knew I was coming. I go for the shock value, ya know? Anyway, he's never been a behavioral problem kinda kid and if luck holds, he never will be. He is irresponsible and because I care what my kids are doing, I can and will take action immediately if I see they need help.
We made a plan for getting his assignments from his locker to his classrooms. Not near the drama you thought but things in our life rarely are all you'd hoped for. Thanks for the time under the microscope and as usual, there is nothing to see here so move along.
Oh, if you're interested, the rest of our family is doing great as well. Ben is doing fine in school, Emily is rocking out at basketball, Todd and I are still nose to the grindstone to make ends meet. See, boring. Sorry.
Our high school girls basketball team (minus Eva, who is broken hearted in Brazil) made it to state. Practically the whole town went up to watch them play in the new Wells Fargo Arena. They lost the game but it was a wonderful experience for our little town. Total togetherness for one day under the jumbo screen. It was awesome. Thanks Coaches and girls for taking us there!
I took a ton of pics with my new camera and put the very best ones up here. You'll notice #23 is in a lot of them. That's because she's a senior starter and plays every quarter, but we're also quite fond of her so naturally my camera followed her around. YAY CALLAN!! YOU ROCK!
If tradition holds, and it usually does, girls state tourney signals the beginning of Spring. We'll have one more winter storm and then sunshine and happiness from here til October. Or something like that.
The school year is winding down so it's been consistently busy around here. Summer will be a welcome relief.
This school year has just flown by. Seniors left on senior trip last night. A couple of the guys who hang out here said I'd be lost without them. I don't know about lost but it will sure be quieter.
Eva will back from Brazil in just over a month. I promised her when she left that nothing would change since this is a such a small town and the same old stuff happens day after day. I lied. A lot has changed and the pecking order will have to sort out again but she'll rise straight to the top I'm sure.
Time for work again.
I have not had a good father's day since my dad passed away in 1999 and each year gets harder. This morning while getting C. ready to go spend the day with his dad, my emotions came bubbling to the surface. I do get frustrated with the relationship between C. and his dad. It's not all that could be or should be but I can't fix that. It reminds me of the years I wasted with my dad. We didn't get the kinks worked out until he was sick and I was his caretaker.
At any rate, I was trying to hold it together and then this song came on the radio and I lost it. It brought to my attention that it's not just today, but rather events of every single stinkin day that I have to just deal with and move on. Sometimes it feels like I'm going to drown in it.
Bring on the Rain
Jo Dee Messina
Another day has almost come and gone
Cant imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes Id like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (cause)
Tomorrows another day
And Im thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
Its almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but Im not dead
Tomorrows another day
And Im thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain
Im not gonna let it get me down
Im not gonna cry
And Im not gonna lose any sleep tonight
Thirteen years ago I was pregnant and due somewhere around July 12th. The temperature was hovering right at god awful hot and I decided I needed to paint the porch. I worked that day and then told everyone I was going home to paint. An elderly friend said I'd have that baby in 24 hours if I couldn't resist the urge to paint when it was 100 degrees outside. She was right.
I painted the porch until Christopher's dad came home and took the brush away from me. He had to go to a bachelor party so I agreed to go in and take it easy. I phoned a friend and was having a marathon conversation when I stood up and my water broke. Freaked me out!! This was back before anyone around here had cellphones and the bachelor party was out in the country near another town. I called the doctor and he said I had an hour at most before I needed to check in. Normally the ex would have stayed out all night but I think God tapped his shoulder and said "Go home, buddy." He showed up just a couple of minutes before my hour deadline.
At the hospital my doc informed us all that it would be a day or two at most and sent the grandma's home. Boy, was he ever wrong. Four hours after they put me in bed I rang the nurse and told her it was time. She said "Yup, you're right." Too late for any pain medication so I got to show off the tough stuff I'm made of. Six hours after my water broke we were parents to Christopher. He was so early that he didn't have fat on his butt yet so he had no butt crack. Other than that he was perfect.
Now he's a teenager. God help us all.
I worked for several years in what the organization's website calls "a private not-for-profit social service agency in Iowa which provides preventative & theapeutic services for youth & families." My partner and I were "parents" for ten kids in a large house or cottage type of environment. We lived with these kids as they went through long term treatment for drug abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc. You name anything that can happen to a kid and I guarantee you we saw it. We had kids come from psych hospitals where they were kept medicated to keep them from committing suicide or harming others. We sat with them as they detoxed off drugs, be it prescription or street drugs. I've seen some of the worst kids this world has created and let me tell you, there is hope for every single child out there.
Kids are not born "bad", they are shaped by their environment and if you catch them while they are still children, you can become a positive force in their environment and either change their environment or teach them a better way of acting within it or reacting to it.
So, that being said... I have always had kids around me. They are so eager for someone to care. Most teens do not want the companionship of even the best parents. Parents are "gay", ya know? They will find someone as a role model or someone older to hang out with and that person will have a lot of influence in their life. When I was in my early teens, I found older people that weren't such a good influence and ended up on the wrong road for awhile. Thank God there were people out there who cared enough to intervene or I wouldn't be who I am today.
Some people in this community have chose to write off a few kids as "pieces of shit" who will amount to nothing. To those people I would like to challenge you to make a difference. Don't sit on your ass and judge. Don't go to church along these kids in the spririt of love and fellowship and then turn your hypocritical nose in the air and deem them lost causes. Get involved with what they are doing. Reach out to one or two and show them respect and see how they return that tenfold.
Most importantly, don't make up stuff about me and my family and what we do. That is so simple minded and downright retarded. Don't cast your own perversions onto me. As my mother says "Clean your own porch before you worry about someone else's." Oh, and know where you kids are and who they are with. Don't drop them somewhere and assume they are mature enough to handle making good judgement calls. They probably aren't. Always err on the side of caution and trust your gut. If something tells you a situation feels wrong, don't do it. Tune out the constant stream of what a terrible parent you are for saying no. You are not terrible and they will thank you for keeping them safe later. It might be YEARRRS later but they will.
Now, after that outburst, I shall have Whitney Houston stuck in my head all day...
I believe that children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
1 in 5 parents believe their children are online too much? Gee, I wonder who will resolve this problem for them?
Due to my job, we have a lot of computers in this house. All of them are connected to the internet. I am on the computer at least 9 hours per day. The kids are on the computer less than 9 hours a month. They are not allowed to use instant messenger or have myspace. Emily has a fotolog site that is rarely used and always monitored. Christopher gets online to look up the occasional cheat code. Ben never gets on. Emily could be an ebay-aholic but no one lets her.
I'm pretty sure if we had just given them unlimited access to the computer, 1 out of 3 of them might be shut up in a bedroom playing games into the night and fighting on myspace. As is the case with everything related to children, it's all about enforcing boundaries and parental responsibility.
So yesterday C calls me from school "I dropped a desk on my foot." I replied "What am I supposed to do about that??" to which he responded "Here, talk to Rita." Rita is our school nurse. God love her. She is the go to woman at that school I think. So Rita says "Better come and get him and get this looked at. It's pretty bad."
If you want more....
C's toe is going under the knife Thursday for cleaning and pinning. Details for the not-so-squeamish follow:
Keep the boy in your thoughts as he gets pinned back together. Here's hoping the surgery is smooth and the recovery is swift. If not, he will drive me nuts. (nuttier?)
The surgery was fine and the first 12 hours after were fine but it's been a special kind of hell since. He's not been able to sleep from the pain and I am a zombie. Every time he moans it takes another week from my life. I want to make it better but all I can do is offer food, water, and ibuprofen with a tylenol three thrown in once in awhile. I hope we get over this initial hump soooooon.
He's not with me tonight as it's his dad's weekend and I had to take him up there this morning. He hasn't slept at all the last two nights so hopefully tonight he will. I debated keeping him home with me but that wouldn't be fair to his dad.
He is such a tough kid and hates to admit pain so this has been very hard on him and incredibly hard to watch. One time he had two plantars warts cut out of the bottom of his foot and then played a double header baseball game two hours later. So yeah, seeing him literally writhe around and try so hard not to cry has been heartbreaking.
We have had a couple of laughs out of the deal since laughter is the best medicine. The first night I told him I've always wanted to do the flaming bag of dog poo trick to someone so we decided when he's healed up, maybe we'll put a bag of flaming poop on the surgeons doorstep and ring the doorbell and run. I wouldn't really do that of course but it took his mind off of things for a couple of minutes anyway.
The toe (and the kid who carries the toe) met with the surgeon/specialist today for the post op checkup. Everything looks good. He took out the stitches and told us he'd see us in 30 days to take more xrays and set a date to remove the pins.
I cannot stress enough how wonderful this doctor has been. He took my phone calls late at night and was nothing but pleasant. He's answered every question we've had in great detail. Today he said his nurse would be in to remove the stitches so we waited a few minutes and she didn't come. Instead the doctor came back in. I said "You don't look the nurse" and he said "She's busy so I'm just going to do it." and he removed the stitches. I worked in the medical field for awhile and that kind of extra special treatment by a specialist is rare.
If you ever smash your toe or otherwise do damage to your foot, go see Dr. Bryan Trout at the Iowa Orthopaedic Center in Ankeny. Really, there aren't enough words to describe how awesome he's been thus far.
Was going to be in bed by 9:30 last night since I've not had much sleep (nothing new there) but due to phone calls and general day's end crap, it was more like 10:30. Started to fall asleep and realized the cat was in the bedroom. Got up and put him out. 11PM, try again and fall to straight to sleep.
That was slightly less than two hours ago. Why am I here now? Lemme tell ya why: the sound of velcro. I've said I will be happy to never hear that sound again as it's now associated with the pain of the toe. That god blessed boot has at least six long velcro straps, maybe seven. I'm sort of used to the sound of it being adjusted but hearing it TWICE, at 12:20AM and 12:40AM, when it's not at all expected, well, that'll wake you up well enough that you'll get up to bitch to the internets about it.
GAH!!!! Have I ever mentioned that I have slept through only ONE night since early in my pregnancy? Folks, that's 14 years of sleep deprivation! And when it's caused by stupid stuff like the "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!!!!" of an orthopedic boot being adjusted and readjusted... well, let's just say that it leads to visions of things less than friendly.
what do Mayflowers bring? Furniture! (that was a joke on a calendar I once had)
My goddaughter is going to have another baby. Emily is so excited because we babysit Gabbie sometimes so a new baby will mean two kids to watch. It sure didn't seem like Gabbie was a baby very long.
Anyway, Steph and I have been looking at baby stuff and kids furniture since the baby will need a new crib. Gabrielle's crib was one of those that converts to a toddler bed so she is still using it. Steph showed me a crib the other day that was almost $1500. I could not believe it! I joked that they would need to take out a mortgage to pay for the baby furniture. That site has a link to GE Financing so maybe she can get something from there.
Christopher and Ben currently have a red metal bunk bed with a futon on the bottom. The futon mattress has gone pretty flat so C. wants a trundle bed. This one is pretty cool and made of pine which is hard to find anymore it seems.
I wish I'd have known about this when Emily and I were looking at canopy beds a couple of years ago. All we could find online were those metal ones with the white powder coat and roses or hearts painted on them. We both agreed that was kinda tacky. This one is really pretty and it's wood!
Time to fix supper. Some day I will be wealthy and a bell will be rung to summons me to the table where a feast will be laid out. Until then, I gotta go make something yummy out of chicken.
Morbid but necessary subject. Have you ever thought about what happens to your children if you die? I have verbally stated a gazillion times who I want to handle my affairs and who I want to look after Christopher should I die before he's an adult. I follow up by saying "I need to put that in writing" but I never do. It's pretty lame since I worked for an attorney and know how to draft a will.
It's My Life makes it fast and easy for anyone to make a will to protect their final wishes and their children. I signed up and checked out some of the features. I had to laugh because my mom has a list at the funeral home of how she wants her service, who she wants for pallbearers, how much money is to be spent, etc. The It's My Life site actually has a section devoted to that, too!
They also have living wills, power of attorney, a place to put little details about you that you'd like remembered and a place to write out personal letters. I started several different areas of the site and it remembers my details for a year so I can come back whenever I am comfortable enough to pick it back up again. It truly is a hard subject, especially when you have children and have to think what will happen to them if you are gone. It's nice that I can quit when it gets too hard and know that I can come back to the same point later. I had to quit on the special gifts because there are so many people who mean so much to me that I'd like to have something of mine. No one will know these details if I don't get them recorded and printed out.
When my dad passed away, my brother and I knew his wishes as he'd made them known to us on many occasions. My sister was of the mindset that she was so far away and wasn't physically involved in his care so it was up to us. However, my oldest brother had ideas not even in line with what my dad wanted. My brother wasn't being malicious; he was simply stating what he'd like. My dad was in the military but didn't want the military service or taps played or the gun salute. My brother was very proud of dad's military service and wanted the whole formal deal. It would have saved a lot of drama if dad had simply written out what he wanted so no one could dispute it.
Dr. Bryan Trout of Iowa Orthopaedic Center is the most awesome doctor EVER!! We went for the toe checkup today and the good doctor took xrays and said "You want those pins out or do we need to schedule you to go next door (surgical center)?" Christopher said "I can have them out now???" and the best damn foot doctor in the whole wide world said "Yup. I'll numb it up and we'll pull them." and pull them he did.
NO MORE CRUTCHES!! That is the most awesome thing in months. Those crutches were so dangerous on this snow and ice. I was sure we were going to break something else before the toe was healed. He still has to wear the boot for another week then he can put his tennis shoe back on. Back to PE in three weeks and he should be all clear for spring sports. WOOOOHOOOOO!!! He cleaned the pins and put them a sterile bag for him to have as souveniers. I have copies of the xrays too that I will post later.
I told Dr. Trout that I have been singing his praises on the internet and he said "Of course I am going to take good care of that toe. That's my baby!" May he forever take that kind of pride in his work and care that much for patients.
Sometimes this parenting with an ex is really hard. Making decisions, staying jointly informed, keeping on the same page... very tough sometimes. And sometimes, I get a little frightened that we are going to screw it up. Then I cry. The kids are the most important thing in my life and I want to do the very best by all three of them.
C. brought home his Iowa Test of Basic Skills tonight and he's at grade level in spelling but everything else is off the charts. He's very proud of his predicted ACT/SAT scores. Lately he's been talking a lot about college and how he is going to go. I hope he keeps that attitude.
Eva's been so busy with basketball and I've been so busy with work that we haven't connected for a couple of weeks. I miss her like crazy when she stays gone that long. She came in tonight and said "Where have you been!!??", as if I'm the one who has been missing. HA! They are going into district basketball next week and I sure hope they can go all the way to State again. She missed that last year due the Brazil thing. Thanks again to everyone who helped make that possible.
She went home with potatoes, a Brasil hat, and was taking a bag of cheesy popcorn but she ate that all before she got out the door. Typical kid! I was so grumpy tonight but having her silliness in the house pretty much took care of that.
We took C. and one of his friends swimming today. They were in the back of the Suburban talking about Beyonce and C's friend said "If I were black, I'd ask her out." C. said "You don't have to be black to ask a black girl out!" YES! He may not listen to the lecture about putting the toilet seat down but I'm glad he pays attention to these important things.
In other news, I saw a man in a speedo today. Really, those things should be outlawed. They don't look all that good on olympic athletes in top condition. They surely do not look good on old men. *shudder* C. said he didn't appreciate that because his mom was having trouble with her eyes anyway without seeing that. HA!
Suddenly, it's important that the kid smell pretty and look good. I suspect there is a new girl in the picture. He used to race through the shower and fight me over combing his hair. Now he even conditions his hair. This leaves very little water for my shower so if I smell funny, it's the fault of the boy.
Earlier tonight he shot his first rabbit. I was not mad but I was far from happy. He thought I might want to take a picture of it. DO WHAT?? I am the one who gets up in the middle of the night to save baby rabbits from neighborhood cats. I sure don't want to photograph a dead one! UGH! Em often says we need our own house. We = she and I. I am almost ready to agree. BOYS!
We saw the toe doc again yesterday and Dr. Trout said not to baby the toe, don't try to protect it, get out and use it! Nothing is off limits. Well, I suppose dropping tables on it is out of the question but as far as sports, PE, and generally boy activity, he's all clear.
He'll have a month or so of physical therapy to strengthen his leg muscles again and increase the flexibility in his hamstrings. He is so excited to return to PE. He must get that from his dad because I hate PE with a passion that cannot even be put into words. I love sports but PE was just dumb. Of course they don't do the same idiotic stuff that we used to do either. Rollerskating? Bowling? Broomball? No way. Try square dancing. I remember way too much about that.
She has her mom's sweet disposition and her dad's even temperment but this... this is *my* contribution to her personality.
Tonight was supposed to be the variety show at the high school but it's been postponed. Since we had nothing to do, Christopher and I watched some video from when he was 3 years old. We laughed so hard. Everyone was trying to convince him that Santa Claus had brought his presents while he was out of the room. First Uncle Bob told him and then Aunt Janet says "Yeah, he dropped them down the chimney just now!" then his dad got in on it and then grandma said "Santa brought that just now?? Was that the bells I heard??" and Christopher said "NO!! He mailed it to me gosh dangit!!"
I love that kid! My mom and I were talking about how funny he is and she said she didn't know I'd have only one kid but she was sure glad that one was him. At conferences last week the teachers commented on how funny he is. I wish I could take full credit for it but he gets his style of humor from his dad mostly. Time to go get funny boy out of the shower. This shower forever concept is new. Hard on the waterbill too. I think I'll have a shutoff valve installed to the hot water. Would make exiting so much easier I bet.
Aunt Rose, I see you got a whole lot of snow up your way. Hope everyone is doing okay. Holler if you need help getting dug out! Love you!
